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March 15th, 2004
![[info]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/userinfo.gif) opalsky | 07:48 pm
I wish Harmon had told Amanda that its not that I dont like any of his friends. Im intimidated by them. alot. they scare the hell out of me. Im afraid they wont like me, that Ill do something embarassing, that ill say something stupid... they always seemed to have their shit together, and I look like a bleeding idiot beside them. Im over the whole being pissed off at Chris thing, I know I was wrong and over reacted. I know that he was completely justified in calling me a bitch.... I just wish I could remember why he said that. I feel so bad for making Harmon talk to him about it when it should have been dead and buried. I guess I saw him as a threat to our relationship because he had said he hoped we broke up. which was yet again me being a dumbass. I dont know why I get so upset about things that dont matter. I was never good at being apathetic, I guess that holds true today. I just want Harmons friends to like me, but they've already got a bad first impression of me... which makes me even more apprehensive about it. I dont want to be disliked by anyone. I dont want to dislike anyone. I just wish we could all be adults and get along... I dono if that'll happen though.
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