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March 16th, 2004
![[info]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/userinfo.gif) opalsky | 08:08 pm
I feel like Im drowning.
everywhere I turn there are expectations.
I never grew out of being 5.
Im not supposed to be in love yet.
if you dont know what you need who tells you.
why cant I relax?
I fight all the time.
I need turmoil.
I need emotional baggage.
Im never going to be better.
I cant think of a good reason to wake up.
I dont want to leave my room.
Im slipping and no one catches me anymore.
what happens when the hands arent there to catch you?
what if the psychic was right?
have you done it in the past 12 months.
you eventually become the lies you tell.
what if my truth is a lie.
how much longer can I go on without what I need.
does anyone care anymore?
have I pushed everything away.
church called, maybe Ill go back.
maybe not.
its lonely lately.
I dont talk to my friends.
people use that against me.
all these thoughts running through my head... I feel like Im never alone but never with anyone else. Im in limbo and life is boring.
I wish I could leave this town and never come back. I wish I could leave everything in it and start again. all alone without any of the scars.
Im sick of all the pain, all the happiness, all the loneliness.
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